Sometimes what was going on didn't hit me hard until well into the night lying alone in our bed when the insomnia came. Then I was force to relive what was happening to me and where my life went wrong. I clearly recalled the five little words that destroyed my happiness as I knew it.I often tossed thoughts around during this time: Did I seek divorce based on abandonment and take the kids mother from them? Was she even being a mother too them? Katharine's fourth birthday was coming up soon as Katie said nothing or had done nothing about it. She made no calls or tried to get with me to see if she could help.It's easy to say just get a divorce and go on. God knows I've said it a hundred times, but it's not as easy to do when you're the one forced to admit a chapter in your life is over, especially when it's a part of your life that you've grown comfortable with and really started to depend on. It's like coming to the decision to cut off one of your arms to save the rest of your body from. I included Junior's hand squeeze of course, as well as the lack of normal social etiquette as exampled by my having to be asked to be introduced, not asked to sit, and not offered a drink.The introduction was taking a LONG time to recount. Before I got to Wayne calling me "Egg", the lawyer stopped me, saying, "Are you honestly remembering this level of detail?" Sure. I have a very good memory."Mom chuckled."This is going to take a long time, isn't it?" It's taking me about four times longer to describe than it took in reality. Later on things get more complicated, so let's assume an overall six-to-one ratio. Probably ten to twelve hours to tell you, plus however long it takes to answer your questions." Okay. You've made your point. You'll have to speed it up."I resisted making a joke about his "you never know what details will be important." Instead I said, "I'll give you an overview then."I sped up considerably. I soon got to Wayne recognizing me as "Egg", and I had to mention it.
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